Where Insomnia Leads
by Sakura245
Summary: Sleep doesn't come easily to Atsushi and Kyouka on most nights. They wake up far too early in the morning and can't sleep far too late into the night. They find that they aren't the only ones who rarely get a good night's sleep. Oneshot


**Happy Easter!**

**Fun little story behind this fanfiction: I wrote it for a fanfiction contest at a convention I was going to. So, I wrote it in a rush over spring break, just barely managing to send it in before the deadline. Unfortunately, the website for said convention was super outdated. So, they no longer had this contest. I want to feel sad about it... but, now I have a fanfic to post when I don't have too much time to write new stories. So, I see no downside. **

**Enjoy!**

The gifted members of the Armed Detective Agency weren't strangers to sleep deprivation.

Difficult cases, sugar highs, drinking coffee too late in the day, loud dormmates, nightmares, painful memories. Those were the things that kept them all awake late at night or woke them up far too early in the morning. Their sleepless nights were part of the reason they spent most mornings in the café near their offices, the reason they downed so much coffee before and during the workday. It kept the fuzziness in their minds at bay.

Kunikida and Yosano took theirs black.

Dazai preferred his coffee with one sugar cube.

Tanizaki and Naomi liked theirs with some cream.

Atsushi and Ranpo loaded theirs up with sugar until it could hardly be called coffee anymore.

Kenji and Kyouka thought coffee was too bitter and preferred to drink sweet tea that had a generous dose of caffeine.

Whatever got them through the day, because they too often didn't sleep.

/-/-/

Atsushi's skin was slick with sweat when he slid open the closet door and crawled out into the room. His shirt stuck to his back, feeling cold as it rubbed uncomfortably. The top of his head ached from when it had banged against the shelf above his head after he'd jumped thanks to his nightmare. He ran a hand down his face, trying to clear his head.

Most of the sweat came away with his hand, moist and sticky. His skin prickled from the cold sweat.

Kyouka's blankets were tossed to the side in a messy pile, and the girl herself was nowhere to be found. Atsushi exhaled slowly, pushing his fingers through tangled, sweat-matted hair. Finding her futon empty wasn't out of the ordinary. She was like Atsushi in that way; Kyouka rose at odd hours, regardless of whether or not her body was rested.

He knew exactly where to find her.

So, he shook the haze from his mind, pulled his shoes on, and headed out.

The sky hadn't yet dawned, and if not for the lights hanging at every apartment door, everything would have been dark as a tomb.

"Bad night?" He asked when he found her slim figure sitting in the tree outside the dormitories.

"It was not my worst," Kyouka murmured, stepping over a branch, giving Atsushi room to climb up next to her.

Few people knew how much of an outdoor person Kyouka was. She'd never gone into detail of what she'd endured in the Mafia outside of the assassination missions, but he'd always suspected that she'd been confined in some way. He recognized that excited spark in her eyes whenever she stepped outside or breathed fresh air. It was the same spark he felt when he got a bowl of chazuke.

Atsushi hauled himself up into the tree, slowly finding his footing before managing to seat himself on a branch so he faced her.

Her eyes were half-lidded, her mouth turned down in a pensive frown. At least that's what Atsushi thought that was her expression was, his night vision still left a lot to be desired. All of Kyouka's features looked grainy in the darkness.

"Was it any better for you?" She said after a minute.

He leaned his head on the tree trunk. "I didn't sleep very well," he muttered, his eyes half closed. "I think I woke up a few times, but I don't remember much." He frowned as he looked at the shadows under her eyes. "Are you very tired?" Concern colored his voice.

"I've been trained to endure the effects of sleep deprivation," Kyouka replied, her voice flat and even.

"That doesn't mean it's good for you."

"I know." She loosely gripped the branch under her to keep herself steady as a breeze rustled the leaves. "I'll sleep more on our next day off."

Atsushi shifted his white-knuckled grip on his branch he sat on. Their sleep cycles were a mess, and Atsushi didn't have to open his mouth to share that opinion with Kyouka. The expression on her face told him that she knew it just as well as he did.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Atsushi muttered, though he already knew the answer.

"It was the usual."

That was all she had to say about it. And Atsushi couldn't blame her for giving such a clipped, vague answer. Especially since he said the same thing when Kyouka returned the question after a minute. It left them in the frosty silence of the near morning, but that was okay. They were used to the silence.

It wasn't as though the silence was uncomfortable, and it was not a lonely silence that both were all too familiar with. So, they leaned against the tree trunk and branches, reveling in each other's company, soaking in the gentle sounds of the still sleeping city.

_Click._

Atsushi stiffened at hearing that sound that didn't belong. Kyouka glanced at him; sleep began to recede from her eyes. She was alert now, all of her assassin training becoming evident in her arrow straight spine and the serious set of her lips.

He squinted hard, trying to make out a shadowy figure that slipped through the darkness. Street lights illuminated tan and brown on the person as he wove his way in and out of the fluorescent circles on the sidewalk.

"I think it's Dazai-_san_," he whispered to Kyouka. He didn't know why he spoke so softly, maybe it still felt too early to be speaking at normal volume.

Kyouka tilted her head, seeming to ask the same question Atsushi was thinking.

_Where would Dazai-san be going at this hour?_

Dazai moved quickly and quietly. He'd be out of sight in a matter of seconds.

What followed was an impulse, a move that was spurred forward solely by Atsushi's curiosity. He shimmied off his branch, clutching the tree trunk as he silently lowered himself to the ground. Kyouka followed, jumping off her perch and landing softly on her feet.

With cautious, secretive steps, they followed their superior as he walked down streets and into alleyways.

It was nosy and rude and just a bit invasive to follow Dazai like this, Atsushi knew that. He wasn't blind to how much he was trying to pry into his mentor's personal life and how wrong it likely was.

Blame it on his exhausted mind's lack of judgment. Blame it on his growing curiosity about the man. Blame it on his tendency to get intrigued in Dazai's mysterious nature.

It was only after they'd been following Dazai for roughly ten minutes that Atsushi began to have second thoughts about creeping after him like a couple of stalkers. The more he thought about it, the more utter mortification inched into his mind.

This had all been a bad decision on his part. A terrible decision. It had been a stupid and intrusive idea. The two of them had absolutely _no right _to follow their colleague without his permission.

Atsushi brought his hand up to Kyouka's shoulder, gesturing to the direction of the Agency's dormitory.

"Isn't a little early for you two to be up and about?"

He froze.

Slowly, he lifted his eyes to meet Dazai's. Atsushi gulped past the lump in his throat. Kyouka stared fixedly at Dazai, her eyes glazing over in that strange, eternally serious way she had.

How exactly were they supposed to explain that they'd practically _stalked _Dazai all this way?

"Uh-" he began clumsily. "We-I… was curious and..." Atsushi stumbled over his words, tripping and falling over each syllable. Shame crept into his face inch by inch. His face burned as he bent at the hip and bowed his head. "I'm sorry, Dazai_-san_," he managed, meaning that apology with all of his being, feeling so thoroughly disgusted with his behavior.

"I apologize too," Kyouka said from beside him, following his actions. Whether or not she was actually sorry, Atsushi didn't know.

Dazai clicked his tongue but didn't move from his little patch of light from a street lamp. "So, I've managed to attract two stalkers," he began, his voice very nearly hollow sounding. It was a scary sound coming from Dazai, scary to hear him sound so empty. He gave an exasperated sigh. "Atsushi-_kun_, if you plan on making a habit of following people, I suggest you learn to muffle your footsteps. I could hear you from the second you climbed down from that tree."

Now, Atsushi's face burned for a different reason.

"Kyouka-_chan," _Dazai said, turning to the girl now. "You're a bit rusty, but overall I could barely hear your steps." He paused to give a slight smile. "So, not bad."

The mention of Atsushi's inability to walk quietly was enough to distract him into a calmer, less shameful state. For a moment, he forgot about how he and Kyouka threw any professionalism to the wind and decided to follow Dazai around before the break of dawn simply to satisfy their own curiosity. For a moment, Dazai was simply acting as a senpai should, giving criticism, advice, and praise.

The moment didn't last long.

"Why did you both feel the need to follow me?"

Atsushi felt the shame of his behavior creep over him again, but it was muted this time. It was muted enough that he could speak without struggling over his words. He opened his mouth to answer the question.

"And before dawn, without even getting changed, I might add," Dazai mentioned casually.

Atsushi had hardly noticed that they'd skipped getting dressed altogether before Dazai had brought it up. He and Kyouka were still in their pajamas, still less than freshened up from last night. He hadn't even showered yet. When Atsushi glanced at Kyouka now, he could tell that she had neglected to run a brush through her hair. It was tangled from tossing and turning in the night, and little locks and strands stuck out at odd angles.

He could guess that he didn't look much better.

"We couldn't sleep," Kyouka said, staring Dazai straight in the eyes.

"And stalking me solves that?" He didn't sound angry or irritated, he was simply asking.

"We saw you walking away, and-and we wanted to know where you were going," Atsushi answered. He laced and unlaced his fingers, unsure what to do with his hands as he tried to hold Dazai's gaze. The man said nothing, and Atsushi took it as an inquiry for another, more sincere apology. "We're so sorry, Dazai-san. It was out of line and-"

"I was going to visit a friend," he interrupted.

Atsushi snapped shut.

No one spoke for a minute.

Then, the corners of Dazai's lips quirked up in an amused, tired smile. "Come on," he said, gesturing for Atsushi and Kyouka to join him.

"What?"

"He'd want to meet both of you." Dazai ran a bandaged hand through his hair as he spoke before turning on the ball of his foot and heading on his way. "Well," he called over his shoulder when Atsushi and Kyouka remained where they were. "Are you guys coming or not?"

So, they complied, walking quickly so they could fall into step with him.

Dazai looked as he always had. Bandaged arms and neck, coffee colored eyes, brunette hair, tan coat. All of his physical defining features were intact, but something was different. Something in his expression maybe? It was something buried in the finer details of his appearance. Atsushi couldn't pinpoint exactly what was off about his mentor, but he knew that something was unusual.

Yokohama was slowly coming to life. Light bulbs hummed to life in several apartments and homes. Showers started to run with water. Keys turned, bringing cars to life.

"Here we are," Dazai said, his voice strange. It wasn't quite cheerful but also wasn't unhappy.

They stood just outside of a cemetery.

Atsushi blinked, he'd been here before, hadn't he?

"Dazai-_san,"_ he began, his voice sounding so loud against the faraway buzz of the city. "Is this…" His question trailed off. Even though it was such a simple sentence, he wasn't sure how to finish it.

"Yes," Dazai replied. "This is the very same place." He paused, stopping in his gait to face Atsushi as he spoke. "Same friend too."

Kyouka tangled one of her hands into Atsushi's shirt and tugged gently. He glanced down at her. _When? _She mouthed silently.

"Before the whole thing with Shibusawa," he mumbled back, not bothering to keep silent since he was terrible at mouthing things that could be understood.

She nodded her understanding.

Dazai suddenly halted, giving Atsushi no warning. The boy ran into him, his nose bumping into Dazai's back. He yelped, flinching back.

His superior turned around, so he could be face to face with Atsushi and Kyouka. "Here he is," he said softly. "Meet Odasaku." He gestured to a headstone that stood on its own under a tree.

There was something so, extremely personal about that moment.

Dazai, whose past was a mystery to all of his colleagues for so long that everyone at work began betting on what it could have been. Dazai, who almost _always _diverted conversations when they slunk too close to a topic he'd rather not discuss. Dazai, who even concealed the skin that most people would show, his arms and neck bandaged up.

Kyouka bowed from the waist before the headstone, paying respect. Atsushi did the same. Dazai didn't. He dropped next to the headstone before leaning against it. He tilted his head back, exhaling through his mouth and closing his eyes. His muscles relaxed against the stone.

Atsushi and Kyouka exchanged glances.

They shouldn't have been there, they were intruding on something that was too private. Atsushi tapped Kyouka's shoulder and tilted his head away from Dazai.

_We should go._

"You still don't know even the bare bones of his story," Dazai said. His voice made both teenagers freeze in their tracks. "That's a shame," he mumbled, his eyes half closed. "Sit down."

The sun's rays finally started to touch the city, painting a fiery, scarlet line across the horizon. Golden light shimmered on the ocean's surface, reflecting back in their direction. Atsushi blinked in the sudden light.

Atsushi dropped to his knees and Kyouka joined him in the grass. She leaned against him, her head resting on his shoulder.

Dazai took a breath in. "He was my friend. The only good person in the Port Mafia." Atsushi blinked, and he felt Kyouka stir against him. "He was the reason I left." After a moment, he glanced at Kyouka. "Without him, we'd likely be working together in a different setting."

He intertwined his fingers loosely. "Odasaku didn't kill people. And he had the most persistent habit of throwing himself into danger to rescue some orphans wherever he went off." Dazai sighed again. "I wish both of you could have known him."

He didn't say anything after that.

He just rested there, shielding his eyes against the blinding sun that rose above the rippling water and unmoving bridge.

When he spoke again he simply said, "You guys should go back." He words slurred a bit, sounding drunken or half asleep. "There's still some time before work, but if you cross Kunikida-_kun _in your current states, he'll give you an earful about it."

"Right," Atsushi replied, getting up and turning to Kyouka. "We should hurry."

"I'll catch up with you later," Dazai said after Atsushi and Kyouka had remained there for another minute, waiting for him to join them. "Kunikida has a bunch of lectures prepared for me anyway. What's one more?"

/-/-/

Dazai didn't move from his spot for a long time.

He leaned against the solid stone, happy with an hour of silence. The city's sounds were muted at this distance, and he was plenty comfortable at Odasaku's grave.

"I'm glad you got to meet them today," he whispered. "It wasn't planned, but then again, I didn't plan to come here today." His bandaged hand reached up to rub his eyes. He didn't need a mirror to guess that dark circles adorned them. Exhaustion pulled at his body, as though he was trying to go about his day with weights strapped to his body.

"I'm trying really hard with them, trying to do what you told me." He paused, opening his eyes and gazing at the bright cityscape, taking in every detail. "I think you were right… Being on the side that saves people does make the word a little more beautiful."

**And that was supposed to be my fanfiction entry. I really hope it was good. Fluff isn't so much my strong point. **

**Any opinions? I appreciate all comments! **

**Thank you so much for reading this!**


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